One of the truly beautiful things in life is getting to be a speaker. I’m so humbled by the literally “countless” people who have thanked me for helping them overcome countless obstacles, almost all of them linked to mental health and attitude. Somewhat ironically, it’s the very real struggles with my own mental health growing up and living without arms that provided me with solutions to help folks through my decades of being a speaker.
But, for the first time in a really long time, I’ve had a serious struggle trying to cope with what’s going on in 2025! All the rhetoric about geopolitics, global warming, wars and violence, and what seems most prevalent, the degrading of social media to “anti-social” and even overt bullying! I don’t like bullies! It’s all put me in a very rare “funk”! My wife and business partner of 34 years, Darlene, noticed my mood and also knew I needed some help. So, she threw me a lifeline!
Actually, she dug out a copy of a very old and very powerful piece of paper. I’ve photocopied the page below and I’ve also typed out the entire script for you to read.
I had completely forgotten about this. Stunning! But please let me provide some context to this blog and the reason I am so grateful for Robert Fulghum.
Between 1981 and 1985, I had delivered almost 1,000 speeches for the Saskatchewan Abilities Council in my job as a Community Relations Director. My talks were created to fulfill the objectives created for the International Year of Disabled Persons in 1981 and the wonderful culture of the non-profit organization that employed adults with intellectual and severe physical disabilities. I had a very personal and philosophical reason I left my dream job as a disc jockey. I felt a true sense of meaning in my life directly tied to my new job. There was very little published information about disabilities and no internet, so I was definitely viewed as a powerful “expert” in my field.
But in 1985, I was privileged to be the one of the keynote speakers at the first ever “Canadian Student Leadership Conference” held at the Yorkton Regional High School where I graduated from in 1978. My extensive experience as a speaker allowed me to adapt my talk that day from disability awareness to “leadership”. How hard could that be? Well, it was so difficult that I had a serious case of imposter syndrome that day. I was 25 years old. I felt like real “leaders” were old, like my parents! Or elected officials, like the Premier of Saskatchewan or the Mayor who brought welcome greetings to Yorkton at the conference opening ceremonies.
Even though I wasn’t new to speaking, I was not who I am today. I actually cringe a bit thinking about this because I discourage new speakers to quote famous people in favour of creating their own material. Yet, that’s exactly what I decided to do in 1985. Not extensively. I do remember using the Henry Ford quote: “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!”
That was a really good one for me! I also decided to use my own powerful quote: “There’s no such word as can’t!”
My parents used to say that all the time and frankly, I was a bit wary about it and didn’t see how that would contribute to my “expertise.” Until it occurred to me: Leadership is actually quite simple and sometimes, “experts” make it so complicated, the average person is so intimidated, they can tune out. But that audience in 1985 gave me a standing ovation and gave me the confidence to leave my non-profit job, move completely away from disability talks to focus my attention on being an expert in leadership. I was invited to speak at literally hundreds of high schools and momentum was growing.
Then one day, I was doing a leadership talk for a Student Council at a high school somewhere and I was in a small library. On the bulletin board behind me, there was a colourful poster. The heading read: “All I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten.”
What? “How silly,” I thought. But I read the whole poster. Then I had an “ah-ha moment!” I asked the librarian if I could borrow it for my talk and she said: “I have an extra one. Would you like it?” Absolutely! That moment would create a “signature story” I would use as my closer in my student leadership assemblies for many years. I don’t know when or why I stopped sharing it. I think it’s because I was working on new stories and new ideas of my own for how to cope with all the “real life” struggles everyone faces. They can be overwhelming!
And those struggles are back! Are you feeling it? So much noise, anger, hostility and again… bullying! I would have thought we’d know better by now, but maybe we need to get off social media, stop watching the divisive news, stop losing faith in humanity, and go back to basics.
Please read the copied text with an acknowledgment to Robert Fulghum and contemplate how we can all stop fighting and remember we are all in this together. Like my intention for all my blogs, it’s timeless, simple, and from the heart.
Thank you, Mr. Fulghum!
All I ever really needed to know, I learned in kindergarten
By Robert Fulghum
Most of what I really need to know about life, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
These are the things I learned:
Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup—they all die. So do we. And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you ever learned. The biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all—the whole world—had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a little nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it’s still true. No matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it’s best to hold hands and stick together!
